I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
