we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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