It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
