I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
