Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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