I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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