Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
