I feel like I'm in dance class right now
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
