wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
