If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
