he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
