I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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