I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
