Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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