Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
All I want is dick and wine.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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