Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
there's paper in my vomit.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
