i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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