It's Friday. Sex?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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