yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
