If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
