We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
