She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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