So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize