Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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