ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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