The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
