Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
