In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
