sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
They have beer where we have blood.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
