I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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