I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
