UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
