i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
