How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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