u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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