the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
