HIV tests are more positive than that guy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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