i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
