win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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