her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
