Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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