just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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