How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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