marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So much rum. So many feels.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
