I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
