Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
