I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
