i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
