I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
