either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
