I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
