I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
