at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
