I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm just crazy horny about you
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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