I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
