Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
