woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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