Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
