Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
this will be a night to untag.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
