sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
