Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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