Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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