jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
