i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You left your phone here
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