do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
