508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It was like getting head from an anaconda
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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