Your tits are I can't wait for
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
