He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
