she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
