Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
