My room smells like vodka and shame
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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