dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
