never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
