I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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