i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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